A brutally honest
interview with 'The Outsider' in the spirit of the #itsoktotalk
campaign that is aimed at reducing the suicide rate in men under 45. This interview contains dark themes.
Why did you start the
zine and what's with the name?
I started the zine to
promote the local alternative arts, music in particular and to make
new friends. I had moved to Somerset from the edge of West London and
wanted to do something creative. Since moving I was really very
isolated and as a couple of people explained when you move to a place
like this most locals will always see you as an Outsider which has
indeed been my experience. So I took a negative of being an
'Outsider' and turned it into a positive.
So have you managed to
make a new group of friends due to the zine?
That's a difficult
question to answer, the zine was set up in part to make new friends
and I haven't been too successful in that regard. I do have a few I am thankful for, some of them are
really kind but most don't get my humour or what I am about, it's
very frustrating at times. I am an outsider amongst the outsiders.
I'd love to be more connected to my friends and have a group to hang
out with regularly or a best mate but it has eluded me. Let's put it
this way, you won't see many people liking my posts on Facebook or
posting selfies with me like they do with their other friends. I do
put a lot of effort to make friends but people either move away or
they aren't bothered. I am very blessed for the handful that have
been good to me. Emily the lead singer of The Incas told me I am
really misjudged by people, they don't get the positive stuff I am
trying to do.
What kind of positive
stuff is it you are trying to do?
Well promote all the
really cool bands, poets, photographers, artists and a like in this
area. Old Hat for example do some really good work. They put on gig's
and festivals, produce albums they really deserve a lot of praise for
what they do in promoting alternative music and providing a platform
for some artists who wouldn't get one elsewhere very easily. They are
based in The Cavern Exeter now and I can't recommend their gigs
highly enough. Noah and Jem have been a real support and
encouragement to the zine, issue one in particular. Old Hat /51st
State are kind of like extended family to me and I do miss them now
they have moved to Exeter but they are doing great things there. Mike
at Fuelled By Cider, Remi (formerly of) Handsome Harry's, Eli at
YAMS, Tim of Palooka-5 , Sarah from 50/50 events, Graham at the
Cobblestones, all the chaps at the CICCIC and Sprog and Martine at
Camelot Music Nights all do great stuff.
So who has been
supportive of the zine?
Well Old Hat, Jem and
Noah were really supportive of the first issue, Simon my resident
Poet, Ben (Sniff) who is also a poet and writer for the zine, Meg for
picking up the camera again and taking great shots. Amelia for all
her design work on Issue 1 and Jaz on issue 2. Artists like Imp The
Brave and Helena . Bands have also been supportive like Virus who
helped me launch issue 2 at the Cheese and Grain at Frome and Palooka
5 who did a really good shout out for the zine during one of their
gigs. Some of the younger bands like The Incas and The Happy-Sads
have been supportive as well as Sickpig and Brotherz Grim. Immy from
The Incas and Happy-Sads was a big support to me as well. It would be
very helpful if other bands would do shout outs and post about the
zine on their facebook pages. Most people who have read the zines are
really positive but some tell me I am too honest !
So you have encountered
some difficulties?
Ha, you could say that.
I could go into detail about how some people lied, fucked me over and
other terrible experiences while I have been in Somerset but it would
end up like that guy in Airplane the Movie where he tells people his
life story! You know what none of that stuff matters, I just keep
going. I am very different from most people around here, I don't
really touch booze, don't do drugs and follow a code. I speak my mind
against bullies, misogynists and a like, doesn't get you many friends
but the right thing to do. Running the zine, which is not for profit,
means going to a lot of gig's, talking to lots of people, via
Facebook mostly (which I hate). I really hoped I would be sitting
down with people over mugs of tea working on articles and lay outs,
turns out pretty much everything is done via Facebook which is not a
great way to communicate. It has been difficult at times because some
people I want to interview are concerned how it will end up, the
truth is if I am taking the time to interview you I really respect
what your doing so no need to worry. I suppose I try to encourage
people to do more and be better.
How do you encourage
people to be better?
Good question, well
firstly you turn up for stuff which seems like a lost art these days!
You listen to clips or read their writing or watch them practise or
draw etc. Next you give them honest feedback and try to be
constructive about it but ALWAYS be honest , honestly is the only
option as far as I am concerned. It's just my opinion at the end of
the day but I have listened to an awful lot of music and been to over
a thousand gigs so I do have some wisdom (perhaps !) to share. I also
encourage people to play more gigs, busk, rehearse, jam, connect them
with other cool people, whatever gets them doing more music or more
art is a good thing. I have also got people gig's and sold CD's etc,
all kinds of stuff. I also try and let people know that they are good
and to have some faith in themselves, some people hate hearing that.
Take the time to invest in people and their art. Get people to
express themselves honestly whether that be through art, music,
writing, engage with social issues, travel or how they dress or their
beliefs or sexuality etc, be yourself, some people won't understand
that's their problem not yours.
So you are also a
Therapist for musicians?
HAHAHA! You know what
there is truth in that, although a couple of my friends probably
think I need therapy! I have taken some courses a while back and I
have studied pretty much all the main Psychological methods and
Philosophies and I do try and bring that to bare on people who may
need it. Yes I have even given good relationship advice, strange I
know that it came from me Mr Lonely Bollocks ! Despite my terrible
sense of humour I do actually go out of my way to help people. You
know what I am like.
Why do you feel the
need to help people, you run a zine why do you care?
Well I do care, I admit
it I'm going to Carer's Anonymous, bad joke. I do care, I suppose
without getting into to it all I have had a lot of tragedy in my
life, I have pretty much lost most people close to me one way or
another. I had suicide happen in my family and with people I know,
had one of my best friends disappear in his teens never to be found,
the negative effects of alcoholism, mental health issues I have seen
these things happen to people close to me. Most people have I think
suffered these things. It can be made more difficult for those who
don't have a support network of friends, family or loved ones around.
I have been to way too many funerals and I don't want to see people
suffer unnecessarily. Of course some suffering is normal in life but
much of it is destructive and yet can often be dealt with. I can't
really do much other than offer support, listen to people and rarely
give some advice, those who know me well know people come to me when
the shit has hit the fan and I can usually help them out. I do have a
lot of friends in younger bands and I know first hand how bad
teenage/early twenties can be so I do my best to offer support for
them. Creative people sometimes need that extra support perhaps, I do
what I can and some folks are very appreciative of that. I have
helped some people out of some very bad situations. What I would say
is these things need to be talked about, don't suffer in silence.
Have you had a lot of
criticism of the zine or personally?
Yes. Look, people are
all different, some people hate zines full stop. Some people hate me
full stop. The zine covers all kinds of music and subjects, it's very
diverse, not the usual type of mag by any means and some don't like
that. Some don't get my humour, nothing much I can do about that. If
I have upset someone I always apologise and try to make amends. It
takes a bit of effort to know me properly. Basically people project
on to other people what they think of you, some people project
positively on me and the zine and some negatively, there isn't much I
can do about that. Their are a few who I know should know better but
that's life man. People can love charming arseholes and hate weird
good people, it happens. Arseholes don't like me as I see through
their fake charm and I'm not bothered what they do to me. Some people
have tried to undermine me and what I do but I always win in the end
simply because I'm a person you underestimate at your peril. Just as
Sir Patrick Moore said of Comet Shoemaker-levy9 crashing into
Jupiter, 'like throwing baked beans at a charging Rhinoceros'. I'm
just a Rhino covered in tomato sauce, lot's of tomato sauce!
What really drives you
to do the zine?
Well someone has to do
it! I love music and the arts a great deal, I was talking to someone
about this the other day. Music is my therapy, my drug of choice I
suppose and so I like to get involved with promoting it in some way.
Music is very healing to me and I do find the female voice very
powerful spiritually, sounds like I am a hippy but the truth. Just
listen to Stevie Nicole Brown, Emily Jolliffe, Verity Langley, Becky
Cockram, Courteney Yeoell, Elizabeth Swan or Ope May, you will get
what I'm saying. Listen to Immy Done on the song 'Carnival Weekend',
if your not deeply moved I don't think you have a soul. I am a big
supporter of female artists and I am lucky enough to have a few
female musicians who I count as friends. Aside from my neighbours the
only real interaction I get with women is mainly musicians and it's a
positive thing, they know I support what they are doing and most of
them see me as a big brother of sorts.
So you really started
the zine to get women!?
If you think for one
moment I started the zine 'to pull birds' you are so wrong man! HAHA,
Bloody hell! A couple of friends have told me if you want a
girlfriend join a band, women love that apparently and it does appear
to be true as most guys in bands I know have a partner or partners. I
wouldn't be that cynical, join a band to get a woman, music would
always be the first reason and friendship of your bands mates. I can
tell you now running a zine will not get you any female attention,
writers don't get that kind of attention, I don't anyway, in fact
many women are wary of writers. I was talking to a neighbour about
this, she has had a real tough time but we get on very well, most
women I get on well with have had really challenging pasts and they
get me. Issue 3 will feature a lot of really good female musicians,
most of which I hardly know other then seeing them play, the ones I
do know who I get on really well with are mostly lesbians. So no you
won't get a woman by running a fanzine. You are more likely to help
your friends in bands get a date! Yeah come to think of it I will
get a funky haircut, regrow my beard, get some tight tartan pants
with braces and start a band called 'Tinder Swipes' then watch those
women swoon! HAHA
What have been the
Highlights of running the Zine?
Getting Henry Rollins
to do the first interview was really cool, he was such a cool guy and
did answer the questions via email in 24 hours despite doing a radio
show and filming a TV series. The guy is one of my all time hero's
and a big influence. I suppose all the great people I have met like
Louise Distras who dedicated a song to me at a gig, never had that
happen before or since. One musician friend wrote a couple of songs for me and I
was also honoured with a poem. Seeing the issues printed always gives
me a kick. I loved the design work by Amelia and Jaz on Simon
Larcombe's poems in particular. Ben taking the zine with his review
of Andrew Jackson Jihad to a gig with the man himself and AJJ being
impressed. Having a gig with Mark Ayling in my flat thanks to Old
Hat, that was awesome meeting him and Rags. 'Chard Busters' the
compilation album from 1982, I got a few copies made on CD for issue
2 and managed to set up a group for all the surviving musicians on it
and put them all in touch with one another. Lots of highlights in
making things happen in the music scene and helping people reach
their potential. So many great gigs and hearing new bands for the
first time, it's really cool. I love live music.
What's next for 'The
Outsider' ?
Well I have produced a
compilation CD Straight Outta Somerset and arranged a gig for it
which went really well so big thanks to Sprog, Matt Bond who did the
sound, the CICCIC, Fuelled By Cider, Courteney Yeoell (who played
despite coming down with tonsillitis) , SPLINK and The Incas, they
all did a great job . I went into the studio with Issy, Ollie and Sam
of The Happy-Sads which was awesome. I got a couple of other secret
projects I am working on hush, hush. The final issue is in the works,
after that I will just be doing the odd blog post. I hope to leave
behind some kind of positive legacy when I go from here.
Last Words?
I do have some more
friends and acquaintances because of the zine, heard some great
music, it's been worth the effort for the positives that came out of
it. The people around the music scene who have taken a little bit of
time to get to know me, one on one, have walked with me, a drink or a
chat with me at my place or during a car journey, I am thankful for
them. So big thanks to Noah, Jem, Abi, Ben, Danny for time spent in
2014-2015. From 2016 onwards I have to thank Simon, Immy, Emily,
Courteney (and her family and circle of friends), Becky, Sarah and a
few others that actually took the time to know me a bit I really
value them for that. I hope this has been honest enough for you, no
doubt some will view this interview negatively but it's all true. Now
I will leave you with a quote from another alien:-
'Never be cruel, and never be cowardly, and if you are always make
amends.
Never give up, Never give in'
Note's Issue 3 is female-centric and is awaiting a female sub editor
